Zimbabwe Absurdity

One of the larger and newer buildings in Harare is the National Social Security (pronounced NaSSA) building. It was built in the Zim dollar days so they were making a fair bit of money then. This was not difficult given that it is compulsory to give 3% of the labour force’s salary, matched by 3% from the company, in one’s employ to NSSA on a monthly basis and in those days we had a reasonably robust economy.  So given the vastly reduced income base now that there is some 90% unemployment in the country, one could forgive NSSA being overly keen to ensure that dues are paid.  But I was more than a little annoyed last week to get a phone call from one of the NSSA inspectors requesting to see the wage returns.

“Is that Mr Roberts? This is Brian from NSSA, I need to inspect your returns”.

“But I had an audit last year in December, why do you want to see them again?”

“We are doing them every 3 months. When will you be back in the office?”

I said that he would just have to wait the 2 hours or so that I was going to be in town.

On getting back to the office I produced the required documentation.

“Why are you doing inspections every 3 months?”

“It’s our policy” (meaning there is nothing I can do about it).

“Why not do it every 6 months or a year and save on time, travel and costs?”

“You will have to ask my superiors that”.

This was a blind ally so I tried a bit of information gathering instead.

“How many of you do this in Harare?”

“20”

“And do you do anything else?”

“No, this is what we do”

This sounded like a job from hell so I persisted; “How many customers do you have to see a day?”

“Oh, about 10 to 15”

“And how long have you been doing this?”

“Two years” and Brian rolled his eyes.

I was beginning to quite like this guy despite the annoyance I felt at the incredible waste of resources used in the quarterly visits. NSSA does actually pay out pensions to retired and widowed people so I guess it does fill a function. Fortunately as I am over 50 I am exempt from having to pay dues. In the past some high-profile politically “connected” farmers have point-blank refused to pay the dues and so far as I know were never brought to book. I should have put this to Brian but I had other more pressing issues to deal with.

“So I guess I will see you or a colleague in another 3 months time to look at another 3 pieces of paper”.

“Yes”, he replied, giving me a wan smile and clumped down the stairs on his way to another appointment.