Zimbabwe Absurdity

Zimbabwe is in the process of getting a new currency of its own. This process has been going on for quite some time and unlike the multi-trillion dollars of old that were based on nothing of consequence, this one is based on gold. The name, ZiG for Zimbabwe Gold, says it all. The official abbreviation for ISO standards has now become ZWG, which is used on government websites, though everybody I have come across refers to it as ZiG which rolls off the tongue easier and is more like the cartoon character we expect it to become. This time it’s serious, though very obviously a vanity project.

Rumours of ZiG notes circulating have been around for some time and a recent trip to the bank to pay tax (my account was no available online) revealed that they actually had some in stock. I had a vision of getting some Reserve Bank issued mint bundles for possible collectors’ value resale but the only new ones they had were two 50s (above). People have obviously been using them and everywhere I went and offered to pay for purchases they were viewed with curiosity. They are of course legal tender and as such cannot be refused if you insist on using them but, with one exception, everyone was relieved when I said “No, just joking” and hauled out the greenbacks from my wallet.

There’s a well-stocked (by Zimbabwe standards) hardware store just five minutes from where I live. I use it enough that I am recognized by the staff. The till operator didn’t hesitate when I asked if they would take ZiG as payment but was surprised when I showed her the notes instead of a debit card.

A few weeks earlier I’d been standing in the same spot waiting for an assistant to come back with my order. There were two young girls lookin bored whilst they waited at the checkout for their parents. One of them, blond, blue-eyed and about six or seven years old walked up to me and said “So what happened to you then?” (my disability is very evident – a walking stick, a crutch and bent-knee posture).

“When I was a young man I broke my neck” I replied.
“Oooo, ouch!” she exclaimed and grimaced.
“Where was that?”
“On the South African coast at a place called Uvongo. I dived under a wave and hit the sand” I replied.
“Ooo, owww!” came the reply, with another grimace, and with that she turned and went back to her sister.

I am often asked if I need help, usually by older people who are patients at the same medical practice I am visiting. What they are going to do if I say yes is unclear. It is unusual to be asked what happened to me. I don’t mind, I’d far rather people got the correct story than, out of perceived politeness, guessed and got it completely wrong. I have never said “mind your own business”.

I was quite surprised when at the same hardware store on a recent visit a young black store employee (with a “Trainee” tag on his shirt pocket) asked me what had happened. I could see he was genuinely curious so I told him, this time not leaving out the war injury. He didn’t blink and I could see that it meant nothing; I doubt if his parents were more than young children at the time.

We got chatting and I could tell by his accent that he’d had a good private school education. He was 24, his name was Bryson, was still living at home and his parents were starting to indicate that he should be thinking about moving out. “Hopefully in about eight months time in this job I’ll have enough money to get a room of my own”. He carried my purchases to my pickup truck and said goodbye. What an amiable young man (oh dear, am I THAT old?) and I wish him well.

Do I wish the future of the ZiG well? No, not really. The exchange rate with the US dollar is officially fixed at the pain of a US$10,000 fine so it’s unlikely to run to the stratospheric exchange rates of previous attempts to get our own currency. The political elite view the ZiG with disdain. At a recent high profile wedding at the local polo grounds a few months back the press, (including the government owned and sycophantic The Herald), breathlessly gushed that gifts totaling some US$19 million were given to the newly weds. No mention was made of any ZiG.

I have heard it said that the ZiG will only really gain traction when the fuel stations accept it as payment. Asking if one can pay with the ZiG gets a very unambiguous no.

What Google said. I didn’t follow the links