Zimbabwe Absurdity

This is typical of a Nigerian scam – there used to be lots going around but this is the first I’ve seen in some time. Almost funny.

Sir,

”PLEASE THIS LETTER MUST REMAIN SECRET”

I am Suriya Jungrungreangkit, former Thailand transport minister during Thaksin Shinawatra regime which was ousted by a military coup on Sept 19 2006,and Martial law was imposed by the Council for Democratic Reform, now called the Council for National Security. After the Sept 19 coup, i would have called you on phone , but because the new government is taping the past government officials phone numbers, so it is no longer safe for me to call you, that is why i think it is safe to send you this mail. we are placed under surveillance.

However my main point of contacting you is to seek your sincere suggestion and guideline to invest in your country. And please because of my previous position in the government, I do not need to tell you of the absolute confidentiality which we both must have to observe, if we are to go into investment, or rather if you are to help me in investing in your country.

I desired to contact you now that I am very sure that all eyes are not on us as it was when the problem first began though we are still going to court but the environment is good now. I’m seeking your assistance to invest the sum of US$14,000,000.00 [US$14.Million] but I do not want my picture to appear in any investment because of some certain issues which I will explain more to you.

> From the news publications attached here in respect of the government probes into much of the projects my ministry execution will make you to understand my position with the government now.

I thank you very much for taking time to go through my mail, and hope to read from you soon. I appreciate your anticipated co-operation and my regards to your family.

Please, contact me with my Private e-mail: suriyasuriya@live.com

Sincerely,
Suriya.
E-mail: suriyasuriya@live.com

I usually deal with Ant on seedling business but as his wife Helen said, he doesn’t cope well with running around Harare so prefers to stay on the farm so she had come into my office late this afternoon to finalize an order. I asked Helen, a cheerful woman a few years older than me, how it was all going. “Hello how are you” is a standard Zimbabwean greeting which rarely gets a reply much different from “fine thanks, how are you” but I decided for some reason to delve a little deeper.

They have already lost half of their farm in the middle of the country and as Helen revealed, they are only still on the remainder because the Minsitry of Agriculture is concerned that she should carry on with her side of the business – raising day old chicks. There is a Fat Cat after it but he has done nothing with the other farms he has acquired and surprisingly (to me at least) the Ministry is refusing to give him an Offer Letter (of the type one has difficulty in refusing) that would give him the remainder of Helen and Ant’s property. The Fat Cat is not the type of person to take this sitting down so has taken the issue to the Highest Authority with results yet to be seen.

“But really, we are fine. And quite happy” concluded Helen.

Fried is temporarily heading up one of the bigger corporations in town whilst they look for a new chief executive (the last one was “let go” for committing financial irregularities). By his own admission he is past retiring age but he also admits he is quite enjoying the challenge. One of the bigger challenges is recapitalizing. Like a lot of Zimbabwean companies, the one he heads has invested little in new equipment over the last 10 years and now have the task of finding the money, in a very short money market, to do so.

I was reflecting on this 2 days ago as I drove across town to the Tobacco Research Board near the airport and went through yet another set of traffic lights not working. ZESA, the electricity utility that intermittently supplies the nation, has probably not done any meaningful recaptialization in the last 20 years and now it really is showing in the power cuts. They are probably not even generating (pun) enough turnover to keep the company going on a day-to-day basis. Of course the endless shutdowns do nothing to help the moribund economy and like the economy, ZESA is going to need a massive cash injection to get it back up to potential (another pun for the electronic geeks).

I was going to the TRB to look at the potential of growing tobacco seedlings on spec, something we have not done for some time now but business is poor and interest in tobacco high with the high prices, more than $4/kg, so it may be worth the gamble. Parked in the way of the steps into the TRB was the director’s new Toyota Landcruiser, a shiny example of misplaced recaptialization. I wondered what the staff who probably cannot afford their own fuel even if they own a vehicle thought of it. Oh, I should mention that the director of the TRB is approved by none other than Robert Himself.