The sun blazed down on the rather tatty que ball that had more than a few pieces missing. It had seen better days but the table was more or less level thanks to a few pieces of wood. There was no chalk for the sticks but nobody seemed to notice. Advice was freely offered and taken and a small crowd gathered. I declined an offer for a game, I am hopeless at pool, but donated 50c for a token as I left. A car pulled in for fuel and left in disgust with gravel flying when they were told there was none. It seemed the old fuel station had finally gained a new lease of life with the outdoor pool table.
Outdoor pool
14 05 2013Comments : Leave a Comment »
Tags: fuel station, outdoor pool table, outdoors, pool table
Categories : Humour, photography, Social commentary
Licorice bootlaces
9 05 2013I stuck my tongue out at the rear-view mirror; it wasn’t black like it should have been. I was only slightly disappointed. I’d found the licorice boot laces (they were more like ribbon cable than the knotted boot laces I remember from junior school) in, of all places the aquarium shop, and I was well pleased. The car in front of me pulled onto Harare Drive from Drew Road and was immediately pulled over by the police standing under the trees showing off their bright yellow traffic armbands. I made a show of stopping longer than necessary by the stop sign and then turned left as another car opposite me turned right and pushed ahead of me. I muttered a curse and then another as a policeman pulled me over.
“Who had right of way at that intersection?”
“I did because he was cutting across the line of traffic” I replied wondering if this was my provisional licence test over again.
“But he was already in the intersection”.
“How do you know where the intersection is if there are no white lines marking it?”. I was not going to be bullied in this one.
“But you did not stop at the stop sign”. A change of direction, if you will.
“Yes I did, you were not watching”
“I need to see your licence”.
I passed it over knowing that I could not now just drive off.
“If you want to challenge this then we will have to go to court”.
“No problem”. Now I was committed.
“I will go and get an officer to come with you to the traffic centre”. He was giving me a chance to back out and pay a fine.
“Please do”. I dug in my heels and he wandered off to his colleagues.
I really was prepared to go to court over this. Whilst I was not at all sure if the white line was necessary I thought I could at least get a story out of this and if I really dug in I could call his bluff as I was pretty sure he did not want to go to court and answer awkward questions. I phoned my insurance broker to see if he knew and watched the cops in the rear view mirror. Trevor couldn’t help so I settled down to wait. The police were chatting amongst themselves, wasting my time – I suspected. Finally another strolled over.
“What happened there, why didn’t you stop behind the stop sign?”
“I did. I could see you here with your yellow arm bands. Why would I not stop? I know this is your favorite spot. You need to hide a bit better”.
He seemed to find this hugely funny.
“Here is your licence, you can go” he said, passing it over.
“While you are here”, I replied as he turned to go, “what about the white lines, aren’t there supposed to be white lines?”
“Yes, there are. But they are difficult to find in Zimbabwe these days”.
Notes on dealing with the police in these situations:
– always be polite
– never lose your cool
– be committed!
– know your rights.
Stop signs are there to tell you to stop. The solid white line marks where you have to stop not the sign. The white line MUST be there!
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Tags: stop signs, traffic police, white lines, Zimbabwe
Categories : News & Various, Social commentary, Uncategorized
NSSA and wasted time
22 04 2013One of the larger and newer buildings in Harare is the National Social Security (pronounced NaSSA) building. It was built in the Zim dollar days so they were making a fair bit of money then. This was not difficult given that it is compulsory to give 3% of the labour force’s salary, matched by 3% from the company, in one’s employ to NSSA on a monthly basis and in those days we had a reasonably robust economy. So given the vastly reduced income base now that there is some 90% unemployment in the country, one could forgive NSSA being overly keen to ensure that dues are paid. But I was more than a little annoyed last week to get a phone call from one of the NSSA inspectors requesting to see the wage returns.
“Is that Mr Roberts? This is Brian from NSSA, I need to inspect your returns”.
“But I had an audit last year in December, why do you want to see them again?”
“We are doing them every 3 months. When will you be back in the office?”
I said that he would just have to wait the 2 hours or so that I was going to be in town.
On getting back to the office I produced the required documentation.
“Why are you doing inspections every 3 months?”
“It’s our policy” (meaning there is nothing I can do about it).
“Why not do it every 6 months or a year and save on time, travel and costs?”
“You will have to ask my superiors that”.
This was a blind ally so I tried a bit of information gathering instead.
“How many of you do this in Harare?”
“20”
“And do you do anything else?”
“No, this is what we do”
This sounded like a job from hell so I persisted; “How many customers do you have to see a day?”
“Oh, about 10 to 15”
“And how long have you been doing this?”
“Two years” and Brian rolled his eyes.
I was beginning to quite like this guy despite the annoyance I felt at the incredible waste of resources used in the quarterly visits. NSSA does actually pay out pensions to retired and widowed people so I guess it does fill a function. Fortunately as I am over 50 I am exempt from having to pay dues. In the past some high-profile politically “connected” farmers have point-blank refused to pay the dues and so far as I know were never brought to book. I should have put this to Brian but I had other more pressing issues to deal with.
“So I guess I will see you or a colleague in another 3 months time to look at another 3 pieces of paper”.
“Yes”, he replied, giving me a wan smile and clumped down the stairs on his way to another appointment.
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Tags: dues, government, NSSA, zimbabwe dollar
Categories : Social commentary
Celebrating 33
17 04 2013Tomorrow Zimbabwe will be 33. And there will be celebrations. Those cynical people who have never visited this amazing country may ask what we have to celebrate. I will answer them.
- We have 3 big South African supermarket chains with outlets that would not look amiss in South Africa – spotting the Zimbabwean produce can be a challenge though.
- We have plenty of fuel at competitive prices.
- We have the biggest fertilizer company in South Africa selling their top quality fertilizer.
- We have manageable inflation. Officially it is 4.5% but it may be a little higher than that in reality.
- 10% of the population is employed!
- We have a stable currency (not our own) in the US dollar
- We have the world’s best climate along with Malta.
- We have been a democracy longer than South Africa. There is a slight financial problem in funding the next general election this year but we will make a plan for the shortfall of $100 million or so.
I mean really, with all this, who needs an economy?
Comments : 5 Comments »
Tags: economy, employment, inflation, South Africa, supermarket, weather, Zimbabwe
Categories : Humour, Social commentary
The pole-yard dog
22 03 2013There’s an old song by Jim Croce (long deceased) where a character is described as being “… meaner than a junkyard dog”. I have no idea why a junkyard dog should be mean as I have never come across one. Ella, or Erra as the Shona speakers pronounce the name, is no junkyard dog. She is old, very over-weight and very gentle and I would think a Lab x Rottweiler. I have being going to the particular pole-yard where she lives on Harare Drive for quite a few years now and she sometimes comes to say hello, her tail wagging gently.
Ella has not been badly treated at all by Zimbabwean standards but there has not been a lot of love in her life. I watched on one visit as she walked up to someone her tail wagging expectantly but he didn’t even notice her and her head sagged, her tail dropped and she walked off dejectedly to lie in the sun. So when a couple of weeks back I noticed that she was covered in ticks I decided to do what I could and bought some spot-on Frontline® tick chemical and called in on my way out-of-town. I discovered that no-one actually owns Ella but the person who took responsibility for her was genuinely pleased that I’d gone to the trouble so I showed him the container and applied the contents to Ella. It emerged that she is only fed sadza (cooked maize meal) which would account for her large girth. There was little more I could do except keep an eye on her.
I called in yesterday on business and she was sleeping by the building that serves as an office. I couldn’t see any ticks on her and she didn’t respond to my call so I left her dreaming her old dog dreams. As I got in the truck to drive off her “owner” reached down and gave her an unselfconscious pat. She didn’t move.
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Tags: dog, dreams, jim croce, old dog, pets, pole-yard
Categories : Pets, Social commentary
The referendum – to vote or not
14 03 2013Referenda (that’s plural of referendum) are rare in Zimbabwe, unlike in Switzerland where they are distinctly popular. So Saturday’s referendum to accept or discard the new draft constitution should be a big deal but I am predicting the turnout will be poor.
All three of the major political parties have endorsed the draft constitution and are pushing for a yes vote so it’s pretty much fait accompli. I have had a look at the document (easily available online) but at some 88 pages of a pdf file have just cherry-picked the more pertinent points.
Despite being born here I have no birthright to Zimbabwe citizenship:
Chapter 3. Section 36
- Persons are Zimbabwean citizens by birth if they are born in Zimbabwe and, when they are born:
- either their mother or their father was a Zimbabwean citizen; or
- any of their grandparents was a Zimbabwean citizen by birth or descent.
As both my parents were British I don’t qualify so I have to look under Section 38.
2. Any person who has been continuously and lawfully resident in Zimbabwe for at least ten years, whether before or after the effective date, and who satisfies the conditions prescribed by an Act of Parliament, is entitled, on application, to be registered as a Zimbabwean citizen.
Which seems to indicate that I have to apply! As I already am a citizen under the previous constitution this might not actually apply but I find it amazing that I cannot be a citizen by birth. There cannot be too many countries in the world where this applies.
The death penalty still stands which it did not in a previous version (it has been a long and tortuous path to this version).
Chapter 4. Section 48. Right to life
- Every person has the right to life.
- A law may permit the death penalty to be imposed only on a person convicted of murder committed in aggravating circumstances, and:
- the law must permit the court a discretion whether or not to impose the penalty;
- the penalty may be carried out only in accordance with a final judgment of a competent court;
- the penalty must not be imposed on a person:the penalty must not be imposed or carried out on a woman; and
- who was less than twenty-one years old when the offence was committed; or
- who is more than seventy years old;
- the penalty must not be imposed or carried out on a woman; and
- the person sentenced must have a right to seek pardon or commutation of the penalty from the President.
I do find it bizarre that the death penalty cannot be carried out on a woman – surely this is preferential treatment and not “equality”.
Under section 72. Rights to Agricultural Land:
- Where agricultural land, or any right or interest in such land, is required for a public purpose, including:
- settlement for agricultural or other purposes;
- land reorganisation, forestry, environmental conservation or the utilisation of wild life or other natural resources; or
- the relocation of persons dispossessed as a result of the utilisation of land for a purpose referred to in subparagraph (a) or (b);
the land, right or interest may be compulsorily acquired by the State by notice published in the Gazette identifying the land, right or interest, whereupon the land, right or interest vests in the State with full title with effect from the date of publication of the notice.
- Where agricultural land, or any right or interest in such land, is compulsorily acquired for a purpose referred to in subsection (2):All agricultural land which:
- no compensation is payable in respect of its acquisition, except for improvements effected on it before its acquisition;
- no person may apply to court for the determination of any question relating to compensation, except for compensation for improvements effected on the land before its acquisition, and no court may entertain any such application; and
- the acquisition may not be challenged on the ground that it was discriminatory in contravention of section 56.
-
- was itemised in Schedule 7 to the former Constitution; or
- before the effective date, was identified in terms of section 16B(2)(a)(ii) or (iii) of the former Constitution;
continues to be vested in the State, and no compensation is payable in respect of its acquisition except for improvements effected on it before its acquisition.
The government can still compulsorily acquire agricultural land (not urban). This is by any standard non-democratic and contrary to Chapter 1, Section 3 – Founding Values and Principles:
2. The principles of good governance, which bind the State and all institutions and agencies of government at every level, include:
- a multi-party democratic political system;
If this all seems heavy going – it is, so check out a summary at the kubatana website.
It is worth noting that this draft constitution has only been available to the general public without access to the internet (most of Zimbabwe) for 3 weeks when it was published as a supplement to The Herald newspaper. This is not nearly enough time to analyse and digest it to any significant degree so I must conclude that the government has a vested interest in rushing it through. Why are the other political parties, who were at the end of last year very much against this constitution, now supporting it? I have no idea what sort of deal has been cut behind closed doors to prompt this sort of U-turn.
When I dropped Shelton off at the University of Zimbabwe I asked him if he was going to vote. He paused and then said; “No. It’s fait accompli and I suspect most people will boycott it. It is very flawed”.
Will I vote? No, I don’t think so. I agree that it is fait accompli and the best way of registering my displeasure is to contribute to what I hope will be a dismal turnout.
P.S. It is now Saturday, the day of the referendum. David Colthart, the minister of Education, Arts and Culture, has just been quoted on the BBC. He said we really have no choice for if we don’t accept this less-than-perfect constitution we will revert to the truly odious previous (i.e. the current) one. David Colthart is a lawyer by training, a constitutional lawyer no less. So I guess he has a point. It was also remarked on the same program that adoption of the new constitution is no guarantee that it will be respected by the powers that be.
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Tags: birthright, compensation, democracy, draft constitution, land acquisition, referendum, Zimbabwe
Categories : Social commentary
Paradox
13 03 2013As I negotiated the substantial puddle in the car park and drove off I reflected that the imaging centre was typical of the paradox that is Zimbabwe.
I hadn’t had need to be imaged for some three years when the machinery at the imaging centre was more than old and run down so this morning I was pleasantly surprised at the profusion of new equipment. A new digital X-ray machine, MRI and CAT scanner were evident. White, pristine and oozing current technology – I felt reassured that the future of medical imaging technology in Zimbabwe seemed good even if little else did. The staff was pleasant and helpful, the image intensifying dye was injected under a real-time digital X-ray (“text-book stuff” commented the radiologist – clearly delighted with his own handiwork though I suspected it also had something to do with the medical student watching) and I was soon being strapped down on the MRI bed in the “superman position” for my left wrist to be imaged. The equipment was so new that the staff admitted it was only the second wrist that they’d imaged which accounted for the false start whilst they repositioned my wrist without the CD case under it for support!
I was told on the way out that I could collect the DVD of images on Thursday to take to my doctor. Amazingly there was no charge as it was all covered by my medical aid which at $95 per month just for me is well out of the reach of most Zimbabweans. Imaging facilities do of course exist at government hospitals but tend to be basic X-rays and ultrasound and the days of free healthcare for anyone are long gone (though they did exist in the early 1980s).
It was time to get back to work and the reality of puddles and potholes in the road and no phone line because it had been stolen too many times – some 10 years ago!
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Tags: health care, imaging, medical aid, MRI, X-ray
Categories : Social commentary


Not quite Earl’s Court
18 05 2013Zimbabwe probably has the highest density of pickup trucks anywhere in the world. It was certainly reflected in the stands at the Harare Motor Show today. Along with a few boats, earth-moving equipment and heavy vehicles. There was a smattering of leggy female models thrown in but none that I really felt like photographing; especially when they couldn’t answer basic questions about the pickup truck I was interested in and then couldn’t find the keys! I guess I might be getting old. After half and hour I’d seen everything I was interested in and it was time to move on – definitely not the show of the Earl’s Court venue.
The show is on late tonight so I guess most people will be going for the party. We are a match for anywhere in the world when it comes to drinking, and sadly driving, too. I hope they are warmly dressed as the weather has gone vile.
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Tags: BMW, cars, classic cars, Harare Motor Show, motor boats, motor show, outboards, pickups
Categories : Social commentary, Technology