Social commentary | Zimbabwe Absurdity

The scam

10 01 2014

We have our share of scams in Zimbabwe. Some are more clever than others.

The man at the gate said “they” were charging $1 to go through the shortcut to the light industrial sites where I was going. It was “for the people maintaining the road”. This sounded plausible enough; the roads are in an appalling state in Harare at the moment. They always degrade in the rains and are patched up when they should really be resurfaced. The city council has no money to do this so enterprising individuals patch up the potholes and put up signs such as “Voluntary work – Pliz help” in the hope that passing motorists will drop them a dollar or two.

When I looked a bit dubious he pointed to an old sign that listed a tobacco company as the legal owner of the industrial complex through which the road ran and said “It’s private property now”. I was a bit sceptical about that but it’s not a part of town that I frequent. Anyway, it was a lot shorter than going around along some very bad stretches of road and if the road had actually been maintained… I handed over a dollar. He picked up his cellphone, appeared to dial and said “One car coming through”.

Half way through the premises I started to think I’d been had. It was all run down, the road although not bad was not maintained and there was no tobacco company present. Nobody checked that my vehicle was “permitted” at the other gate. I was seething. I realized that he hadn’t actually dialed anyone, he had got through to the “other person” far too quickly and my vehicle hadn’t been identified either.

By the time I’d finished my business I was seriously considering revenge. Demanding my money back and if not getting it removing the gate with the front of my Land Cruiser (which is reinforced to deal with bush and goats). Or something more subtle like making a video with my cellphone and promising to pass it on to the police.

Oh what the hell. It was only a dollar and I got a story out of it. But it still stings to get had even if you have been naive.

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Tags: Harare, Harare City Council, industrial complex, road maintenance, scam, tobacco company
Categories : Social commentary

I have seen the future

7 11 2013

Entertainment in Harare can be a bit lean – the West End we are not. So people get creative. Drinking is a popular pastime with the sports clubs and various bars, especially on a Friday night. Most middle-income families have satellite TV with all the usual channels that one could find in Europe or the UK. I have found the satellite TV with its endless repeats and bad films tedious so opt to get my entertainment from the internet and in the form of DVDs from Amazon UK. They take 10 days or less from the UK and if I’m lucky, which mostly I am, I don’t get charged duty provided I keep the orders small.

The internet is not bad in Harare. As I live just out-of-town I don’t have access to the genuine broadband from the newly laid fibre optic cables that have been going in for the last year or so. I rely on WiMax which is generally OK though occasionally it just loses the connection. I could get the ISP techs to come out and redirect the aerial but that would mean killing the bees in the chimney onto which the WiMax aerial is attached, so I just put up with it.

I collected a number of DVDs from the post office yesterday and, last night, being thoroughly unmotivated, sat down to watch the latest Star Trek film. I should explain I am not a “Trekkie” but I have seen one of two a few years ago so thought it would be quite fun to see how things have changed. Well, I have seen the future according to Star Trek and it is good. Some 200 years in the future we will still have a role in flying complex spacecraft which still have engine throttles à la current airliners. The aforesaid spacecraft will have beam weapons that still miss and humans will still fly them through impossibly small gaps that a computer just could not manage despite being able to beam crew members up to distant locations. Pretty girls will still be wearing impossibly short skirts (a pity I won’t be around for that) and medical staff will be wearing starched white safari suits. The baddies will still be speaking with a plummy English accent and over-acting the part and the goodies will be led by an arrogant American who learns humility through self-sacrifice. Quite familiar and not at all bad. The future that is, I definitely won’t be buying another Star Trek DVD.

It seems the Minister of Finance in Zimbabwe is struggling to see or imagine what the economy might be doing next year. He has postponed presenting a budget this year and has said it will come out early in the New Year. My guess is that he simply hasn’t got a solution for the lack of money in the economy. Employment is still falling and I know of at least two people made redundant from companies that have closed in the last 6 months. My company had an excellent September and dismal October. It’s not often that the deposit summary that I print out for the bookkeeper only runs to one page. In fact, I think this is the first time it has ever happened. The future I am seeing here is not great.

It is not all doom and gloom of course. The Acacia karoo outside my bedroom (that I planted 9 or so years ago) has been in splendid bloom and alive with insects, all living for the present. I caught this wasp, plundering nectar. Its future is now and I bet it doesn’t give a hoot for tomorrow.

A wasp feasts on Acacia nectar

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Tags: Acacia karoo, economy, future, Harare, satellite TV, wasp, Zimbabwe
Categories : Environment, News & Various, photography, Social commentary

A bit of marketing

19 10 2013

The economic climate in Zimbabwe has changed substantially over the past 4 years. Not only do we no longer use our own currency (just about any hard currency is acceptable but the US dollar and South African rand are the most popular) but we are all fighting for what little business there is. This was not always the case for my business. I used to just rely on word of mouth for the customers to come to me. So when a few weeks ago I got an email from a local farmers’ union asking if I was interested in advertising at their annual congress (for a small fee of course) I decided it was time to do a bit of marketing.

So for 2 days this last week I went just east of Marondera to a government technical college where the annual congress of the ZCFU (Zimbabwe Commercial Farmers’ Union) was being held. I had little idea what to expect, or even who the ZCFU is, so borrowed a gazebo tent, took along some examples of seedlings that we grow and brought the senior foreman/clerk along too. There was a LOT of waiting. Finally on the last day just as we were packing up the delegates came out of the congress and we got quite a lot of interest. Just how much will translate into business remains to be seen.

That’s us -a very basic setup

All quiet

These photos were taken on the first day when there were just a few students around. The second day there were quite a lot more exhibitors.

The convener of the congress is a relatively small-scale farmer and long time customer of mine. Quite what was discussed I don’t know but he was pleased with how it all went. Most exhibitors were of the usual agricultural supplies and input type but there were even some representatives of the local tax revenue authority there “trying to persuade the farmers to pay their taxes”. I kid you not – this is what one of them told me! We had quite a long chat discussing how to get agriculture going in Zimbabwe again (access to finance and all that implies) though I was quite circumspect on the political aspect. We both bemoaned the dearth of Zimbabwean produce on the local market. So when I went shopping yesterday and actually saw some local fresh produce I just had to take a photo.

Finally some local produce

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Tags: local produce, seedlings, tax revenue authority, tobacco seedlings, ZCFU, Zimbabwe Commercial Farmers' Union
Categories : Agriculture, Social commentary

Grapes of wrath

5 09 2013

“2 million face hunger” the newspaper billboard blared. It didn’t say where but I assumed it had to be in Zimbabwe. It was certainly nothing new and the newspaper headlines here are notorious for being misleading.

Topping up on supplies in the supermarket a bit further along the road I noticed some grapes. “Produce of Egypt” it said on the side of the box.

Well things couldn’t be too bad if we can still import Egyptian grapes I thought. So I bought some. They tasted good for “grapes of wrath”. The skins were a bit tough but tasty, yes. I guess the producers were not concerned where their grapes went – just so long as they still have a market.

The hawk moth I found outside the bank. I had no interest in finding out how tasty it was but given the rather contrasting background I wouldn’t be surprised if a more natural predator had a go.

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Tags: Egypt, face hunger, grapes, grapes of wrath, hawk moth, hawkmoth, hunger, natural predator, Zimbabwe
Categories : Environment, nature, News & Various, photography, Social commentary

The election part 2 – where to now?

7 08 2013

As Helen said to me on Saturday; “If it’s such a landslide victory for ZANU-PF where are the celebrating crowds?”. They certainly weren’t on the street in Harare. Or anywhere else that I have heard. A client coming through the airport on Sunday night said the officials there were in “shell-shock”. The stock market, that perennial barometer of things economic, reacted on Monday by dropping 11% in value. Austin muttered at the gym that once again we’d failed to grasp the scale of what ZANU-PF was capable of doing. German Embassy officials I spoke to on Saturday commented that it was a blatantly fraudulent election and yes, it would be declared fraudulent in a court of law. But perhaps not a Zimbabwean one. The USA, UK and EC have described the elections as deeply flawed.

As I type this on Wednesday morning 2 ZEC (Zimbabwe Electoral Commission) officials have resigned in disgust.

Jacob Zuma, the South Africa president, has endorsed the results as “free and fair” as has the African Union observer team. Other African observers have declared various degrees of reservations on the veracity of the outcome.

Botswana is asking for an audit (their president, Ian Kharma, and ours have never seen eye-to-eye).

ZANU-PF are crowing that they “have a mandate from the people” to change the constitution with their 2/3 parliamentary majority and will be enforcing the 51% indigenous ownership (that means black Zimbabweans) of all companies. Hence the stock market slump.

Most Zimbabweans I have met are continuing as normal. Yesterday I watched as a group of older women bought roses in the next-door nursery.

My doctor said she’d not prescribed any more Prozac than normal.

On Saturday night I attended the first graduation of the current Dance Foundation Course (DFC) for which I am a trustee. Politics could not have been further from anyone’s mind. The students had great fun showing off their new skills, proud families celebrated and even the guest of honour, the US Ambassador relaxed a little. So to answer the question in the title; I suppose we will just wait and see as we have been doing for the last 45 years.

: Part of a show first seen at HIFA this year

: Caribbean dance reflecting the origins of the dance co-ordinator

: A Caribbean dance

: Some traditional dance

: Hip-hop

: EVERYONE celebrated! The US Ambassador gets in on the fun

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Tags: Botswana, dance, elections, fraudulent, rigging, Zimbabwe
Categories : Business, Dance, News & Various, Social commentary

The election part 1 – all calm

31 07 2013

All is calm above World’s View in Nyanga

I resolved as I climbed the steps into the Nyanga Police Station not to ask if we could paraglide but simply to state that that’s what we’d come to do.

The female constable was clearly uncertain about this paragliding thing even after I’d shown her a photo on my cellphone. “I have to call my boss” she replied. Her boss, the duty sergeant, was completely uninterested. Clearly, with an impending general election, he had more important things on his mind. Anyway, he knew about paragliding and that we’d been coming to this premier site at World’s View for as long as he’d been at Nyanga.

The flight was uneventful, and not the best conditions that this area can deliver, but after a long break from thermic flying I wasn’t complaining and I got in a nice hour in punchy, small thermals that still managed to lift me 400m above takeoff before high cloud stopped play.

I got chatting to a couple of well-spoken youngsters on the landing field.

“Where is your Robert cap” I asked one, referring to the profusion of the yellow caps in the area with a picture of Robert Mugabe on them.

“In my house” he waved vaguely in a northerly direction. “Anyway, you don’t have to wear them”.

“Are you going to vote?” his friend asked me.

“Of course, but it’s my secret who for”.

“That is obvious” he countered.

“No it’s not, I might decide Robert is my friend”.

They found this hugely funny.

We’d been in the area a few days and I’d been concerned about a paragliding trip this close to the election on the 31st July. The last election in 2008 had been marked by a lot of violence but this time around all seemed quiet. I’d seen a number of ZANU-PF (Mugabe’s party) vehicles giving out caps and T-shirts and putting up posters and even a few vehicles from the opposition MDC (Move for Democratic Change). The visit to the police station was merely a courtesy to cover ourselves just in case someone accused us of spying (seriously!). In the past they did ask us not to fly over the police station and of course I ended up in a thermal for some 10 minutes directly over it but high enough to escape notice.

Today was voting day. I was in no rush as I rather thought I’d avoid those who thought that it would be necessary to get to the polling stations early. Leaving the house just after 11 I visited the first polling station in my area only to find that I was registered for another ward. There wasn’t even a queue. At the correct polling station there were 2 queues of some 30 people each. Policemen and observers lounged in the sun and one waved me to the front of the queue. 5 minutes later I was out my duty done and I was back home by 12.

Duty done!

So whom did I vote for? Well, that’s my secret but as I was at school for one of the councillors, it wasn’t just a vote for president, he got my X. Now it’s time to get on with this day off and hang out the washing and start pruning the roses.

Comments : 3 Comments »
Tags: general election, paragliding, police, polling station, Robert Mugabe, spying
Categories : Social commentary, Sport

Progress – sort of

30 07 2013

I was left with no option; my next door neighbours have moved taking the UHF link with them so now I am the proud owner of a WiMax link that in theory gives me 1Mbit/s broadband. It was probably just fortuitous that one of the bigger ISPs in Zimbabwe, ZOL (that’s Zimbabwe OnLine to you South Africans) has splashed out on a lot of fibre optic cable and declared a price war by uncapping all internet subscriptions albeit at the not-so-fast 1Mbit/s. The technician who installed the hardware admitted that ZOL had probably got the fibre cheap as elsewhere in the world the trend is for 4G wireless links. But who am I to complain? I am pretty sure it’s not really 1Mbit/s but so far it hasn’t been too bad and yes, I can actually watch low res YouTube videos without them stopping to fill the buffer.

A tractor sets up for a demonstration

On the way back to work I came across this tractor setting up for a demonstration for an upcoming field day. The implement looks fairly standard for this part of the world but the tractor is certainly high-class. I wouldn’t know what it would cost but like most things in Zim it would not be cheap. Even less certain is how it would pay for itself in our dismal economy or even who could get a loan to buy one. An awful lot of farmers in this country are on farms for which they don’t have title deeds so they have no effective collateral to get a loan – not that the banks are accepting title deeds as there is no guarantee that they could even sell or hold onto a repossessed farm.

That could all change in tomorrow’s general election. We could get a new government that is interested in property rights, human rights and just about any other rights one can think of. Unlike the election of 2008 which the incumbent government lost but still managed to hold onto power, this one has been relatively free of violence. So far. Sort of progress I guess but no-one is saying that there is not going to be a massive re-adjustment of the result.

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Tags: bandwidth, general election, internet, ISP, progress
Categories : Social commentary

The perfect cup of coffee

22 06 2013

This is my Moka Express coffee maker.

Made to last – a VERY long time!

It has been around as long as I can remember. As a child I was forever lifting the lid to see if the coffee was coming out of the central spout. I also remember that my parents didn’t seem to use it very much, perhaps it didn’t make enough coffee so it was replaced by a percolator which made a lot more and was also interesting for a six year-old as it made interesting noises and splashed coffee against a clear glass top. And made awful coffee.

My little, very old espresso “machine” (can it be a real machine without moving parts?) to my mind makes very good coffee. No, it probably isn’t perfect, and in the morning I don’t have time for making the perfect cup but it is important that I have good coffee to start the day. NO, INSTANT WILL NOT DO and we do still have one good brand of local coffee called Farfell produced here which I keep well stocked up.

Anyway, the filter thingy that holds the coffee was looking like it had come to the end of it’s life, the gasket I’d replaced with a silicone one of my own imperfect design and the handle – well, nothing one couldn’t fix with a bit of epoxy and a paper clip!

We are famous for making do in Zimbabwe but now it’s the era of the internet so I set about seeing if spares were to be had. Oh delight! They still have spares for my 6 cup (I get just one mug out of it) Moka Express made by the original Bialetti company! Yes, there a loads of new designs in stainless steel and different colours to boot but my old aluminium version is still there.

For some reason Amazon won’t ship direct to Zim but my long-suffering postal master in the UK (brother and sister-in-law) divert the package to me and the Moka Express is almost back to new (wrong handle).

And the coffee tastes just as good as ever!

Comments : 3 Comments »
Tags: Bialetti, coffee, espresso machine, Farfell coffee, good coffee, internet, Moka Express, percolator, perfect cup of coffee
Categories : Agriculture, Social commentary

Vendor city

22 06 2013

Vendors are everywhere in Harare. They sell everything from steering wheel covers, to cheap padlocks and of course food. The fruit vendors are especially numerous in the industrial sites where I spotted this one and they do a brisk trade at lunch time. Yes, I have in the past bought fruit off them and they will even offer to wash it for you and carry a bottle of water specifically for that purpose. There is of course no guarantee that the water itself is clean; it could be out of a tap at the back of a factory and one drinks tap water at one’s peril in Harare. Of course there is no saying that the vendor doesn’t have a swig out of the bottle now and again. Would YOU not drink out of the bottle of water you were carrying on a long, hot and dusty day?

A fruit vendor in the industrial sites of Harare. A bottle of water to “clean” your purchase…

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Tags: fruit, fruit vendor, Harare, hygiene, industrial sites, vendor
Categories : photography, Social commentary, Uncategorized

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