The owing circle

30 12 2014

Mr D is an old and reliable customer of mine. Yes, he sometimes owes me money but he always pays, eventually. That’s more than I can say for a number of other customers who start off well and then after a number of years just never return whilst owing money. My outstanding debtors list is depressingly long.

Mr D’s wife phoned yesterday – she was not happy. I have a large order of tomato seedlings for her husband that are ready to go and she had no way of paying for them. It transpired that she (I gather she is the money manager in the business) was owed some $100,000 by the Grain Marketing Board (the GMB is a government-owned parastatal) for maize delivered to them last year and a sizable amount by Olivine Industries for whom they’d grown a lot of tomatoes last year. While I wasn’t particularly interested in who owed Mrs D money I had to admit the reality of the situation; they weren’t able to pay me either. She had paid a 50% deposit on the order and I couldn’t realistically sell the tomatoes to another customer so I reluctantly said that she could collect the seedlings. I gave strict instructions to the clerk not to issue an invoice on the collection, just a delivery note, so that I did not have to pay tax on a transaction for which I’d received no money (the tax department always wins).

Driving home I reflected it was just as well that Olivine Industries did not take up on the quote I’d given them earlier in the year to grow a very large quantity of tomato seedlings. I also established that Mr D was not growing the current crop for Olivine either so I guess there is a realistic chance that I’ll get paid, eventually.





Smart phones, dim screens

18 12 2014

I was thinking just recently what a good phone my Sony Xperia Z1 has been. Not the latest and greatest for sure but reliable and very useful even in Zimbabwe’s increasingly wired environment. Absolutely not thanks on the latter to the government. I use WhatsApp all the time, the camera phone to capture Zak doing daft (and not so daft things) as well as problems in the nursery and when overseas the Maps app to find my way around. Maps also works pretty well in Harare too.

So it was with more than a touch of annoyance last night that I discovered that the screen had cracked in my pocket, no doubt caused by a large bunch of keys. The phone has become more than a touch erratic and sometimes I cannot even unlock the screen pattern. The Sony is not a popular brand here so screens are not available and it’s going to take a while to get another from Amazon. In the meantime I must either get another smart phone (limited choice here) or try and find the battery for my old Nokia which also has a broken screen but works just fine.

So when is someone going to invent a more durable smart phone screen, or have I missed the point?





Their heroes and mine

11 08 2014

It’s Heroes Day today, a public holiday when we are supposed to remember those who died in the liberation struggle for Zimbabwe. This is nothing unusual; the war dead are remembered in various ways all over the world. At the time of the so called liberation struggle I was in the Rhodesian Army and did not see those against whom I was fighting as liberating anything. That could just be a point of view I guess – one man’s terrorist is another’s freedom fighter and all that. Except for the fact that over the years a number of the ruling party faithful have been interred in Hero’s Acre (the national cemetery) who status as heroes are dubious. Others who should have been buried there were left out. There is a certain financial incentive to being a national hero in that the family remaining get a substantial pension.

Anyway, like I said, today is the day that Zimbabweans are supposed to remember the fallen. There are celebrations all over the place and earlier this week I had a request from a local farmer for donations towards the party to be held today on his farm where the local branch of ZANU-PF, the ruling party, has its office. I ignored it, after all, they are not my heroes. I was hoping to be able to tell him this in person but aside from two missed calls yesterday morning from a local number that I did not recognise, nothing has come to pass. Yet.

Seedlings of course don’t take holidays so this morning I went into work to see how things were going. Fine of course. It was also an opportunity to catch up on a bit of work as I will be away for 3 weeks at a horticultural congress in Brisbane, Australia. It was worth it on another count as I spotted this spider on a daisy.

Hey, I'm with stupid!

Hey, I’m with stupid!

 

I have seen this type of spider on cosmos and it was white to match the flower. I wonder if they have the ability to change colour depending on the background or they have to spend their life on the plant to get the right colour? It was pure luck to see it with a fly as when I took the first photo it was just patiently waiting.

Of course I didn’t have my big SLR with its very special macro lens so my cellphone had to do – I was quite impressed with the result.

Tomorrow is another public holiday – this one is Armed Forces Day. It is traditional for the president to address the crowds at the National Stadium just outside town and watch military parades and a flypast by the Air Force with the 4 lonely remaining fast jets that are still flying. There is a football match afterwards to help pull in the crowds. Whether the armed forces will be celebrating remains to be seen. Rumours are rife that they have not been paid and junior officers have been sent on forced leave to cut costs.

So who are my heroes? They are the firefighters who went back into the damaged reactor at Chernobyl, knowing full well that they would not survive. They are the firefighters who went into the Twin Towers after the 9/11 attacks knowing that they were going into a hideously dangerous situation because that was their job. They are those who work for MSF and the International Red Cross and without fanfare get on with the thankless task of helping Ebola victims (and others) survive. These are the people I admire.





Lest we forget

5 08 2014

As I write this it’s the 100th anniversary of the start of World War 1. I have a very tenuous link to it; my paternal grandfather was killed at the Somme in 1917.  Of course I never knew Lionel Roberts and neither did my father. In fact my father was born in 1925 some 8 years after Lionel’s death and his real father’s name does not appear on his birth certificate. My sister noticed this and asked my mother about it but she clammed up; some things were just not discussed. Us siblings were intrigued – a SCANDAL in the family, now that was something to boast about! However, my mother died with her secret and now there is no-one else alive who knows the answer. One day I plan to visit Lionel’s grave and pay my respects to him – the “grandson” he never knew who also payed a high price for being a soldier.

In August 1987 I knew none of this and was cycling through northern France on a 20 pound bicycle purchased off a hostel warden in Whitechapel, London. Northern France is littered with cemeteries of all nationalities. Most are pretty nondescript but the American cemetery at Verdun is an exception. I lost the photo but I can still recall the softly rustling oak trees, the brilliant green grass in the morning sunshine and the sad lines of white crosses stretching off in all directions. It was terribly peaceful. The Americans do cemeteries well and this was one of them.

I don’t recall the poppies in the wheat fields on that trip but in 2010 I was back in France trying to salvage a failing relationship (I failed) and we stopped near a field of poppies bobbing peacefully in the wind. The photos still exist on a hard drive somewhere but were not that good.

poppy2This morning in the nursery there was this poppy growing near the ponds of tobacco seedlings. I have no idea how it got there – maybe a seed crop from last year but I cannot recall seeing poppies there. It had a flower on it last week but today was another fresh one, coincidentally recalling a terrible war long ago and far away. In London tonight lights will be extinguished throughout the capital and replaced with candles in remembrance of the 888,246 British fatalities.

There is an irony in this short tale. The war dead from the Rhodesian bush war, in which I was involved, are not officially remembered within the country. That is the dead whom were fighting on the side of the Rhodesian forces. A number of memorials exist outside the country but within the country they are not welcome. However, next Monday, 11th August, is a national holiday. This is Heroes Day to celebrate those that died fighting for Robert Mugabe and Joshua Nkomo – fighting against the Rhodesians. Such is the price one pays for losing a war – the winners get to rewrite the history. One day maybe we’ll get the right to officially remember our dead but in the meantime turn off your lights, light a candle and remember those who paid the ultimate price in the “war to end all wars” that started 100 years ago.





It’s the small things

28 06 2014

I felt absurdly pleased with myself. A whole $100 in NEW dollar bills! Now THAT was something to feel good about. But it had taken a bit of doing.

Dollar notes in Zimbabwe (the US type, our dollars disappeared towards the end of 2008 in a deluge of hyper inflation) are notoriously dirty and not that easy to come by. I keep the worst to give to the toll gates who cannot refuse them and really don’t have the time to quibble either. So when I find a source of them I exploit it. Like my local pharmacy where I deliberately hand over larger notes than necessary to get clean dollars back. Then I started to get suspicious; the pharmacy ALWAYS seemed to have new dollar notes.

Karyn looked slightly embarrassed “We get them from CBZ”.

“But also bank there and I can never get them”.

Now she looked a lot more embarrassed “Actually we don’t even bank there, we just go and get the change at lunch time”.

I pounced on this clue and called in to get the wages in the afternoon after gym. The teller gave me my breakdown but had only a few $5 notes.

“You can give me all the smaller stuff in ones if you like” I added helpfully (and hopefully).

She pulled out a bundle of truly revolting notes. I made a face.

“I will see what else we have” she said and went off and came back with a bundle of new $1s. Delighted I gathered up the stack of notes and asked for a rubber band (rekken in local lingo).

“Are you always needing new notes?” she asked.

“Oh yes please!” I responded. And another bundle of new dollar notes magically appeared.

Suddenly the afternoon looked really good.

 

I love the web address!

I love the web address!

Crisp and clean - not for long!

Crisp and clean – not for long!





The law and the numbers

3 03 2014

“Chinamasa’s Job on the Line” blared the title page of the Financial Gazette, the weekly financial newspaper, on sale yesterday. Now the newspaper billboards in this country are as about as misleading as anywhere but the FinGaz or Pink Paper (the cover is printed on pink newsprint) is a little less sensationalistic than the rest of the competition and it does like to take itself a bit more seriously. So I bought a copy at the traffic lights (I made sure other vehicles could get past) and well, I needed some paper to start the braai (barbeque).

Patrick Chinamasa is the current Minister of Finance who has the unenviable job of finding enough money to keep the government running when it is obviously broke. Apparently President Mugabe had told him if he wasn’t up to the job he’d find someone else to do it.

Chinamasa’s background is not in finance. I’m not sure what history is but he certainly had an easier run in his former portfolio as the Justice Minister. Mind you, it’s easy to run a ministry like that when you control the police so you effectively ARE the law. Paradoxically the previous finance Minister was Tendai Biti who actually is a lawyer and did a good job with extremely limited resources.

The FinGaz also notes that Chinamasa came back empty-handed from a recent world tour to source finance for the beleaguered government. No real surprise this as apparently potential investors are concerned about the 51% law which requires all Zimbabwe companies to have a majority indigenous shareholder. Despite being born here I am not indigenous – all locally born blacks are considered indigenous as is anyone born after independence in 1980. Well, Comrade Chinamasa likely has an insurmountable problem ahead of him. The laws of economics (which is just a branch of mathematics) are inviolate unlike his previous ministry where the law was wide open to manipulation and interpretation. And even our good friends the Chinese don’t want to help out.





The power and the cheese

26 02 2014

I am feeling rather pleased with myself. Almost smug. The power has been off for most of the day and there is no sign that it will come back on so I have made a plan for the evening. A combination of no lights, a clear sky and a full moon makes for good stargazing conditions and it’s about time I checked on the binoculars in the cupboard.

I set up the tripod on the verandah, fasten the adapter to the front of my rather under-used Nikon 10×50 binoculars and clamp it all onto the tripod. I clear away the solar panels for the LED lamps, they must be fully charged by now (wasn’t it a good idea to leave them charging all day?), and settle down to focus the binoculars.

Dusk is falling rapidly as is its way in the topics. There is a light on the hill opposite – about 5km away and a perfect focusing spot. I wonder if they don’t have a power cut or have their own generator. Closing my right eye I focus the binos so that the left field is clear then close my left eye and use the focusing ring on the right objective lens to get a clear image of the light. Perfect. I sit back and enjoy the evening.

There is a buzz behind me as the fridge kicks into life. The power is back. It doesn’t matter; it is relatively dark where I live outside Harare so I will just turn the lights out and use the red LED lantern that I made to preserve my night vision. It is a perfect evening; mild and calm. I look on the horizon for an early star but it is still too light. I look up. Damn, clouds have moved in and they don’t look like the transient type. Now the mosquitoes start up. No! What has happened to my perfect plan? And now it starts to spit raindrops.

I put all the carefully prepared equipment away and go to see what can be done about supper. There’s a wedge of Camembert in the fridge that needs eating. I unwrap it. It doesn’t look good and is a bit slimy on the outside. But I am a Camembert veteran who is not easily put off his favorite cheese. I cycled across France in August of 1987 and subsisted on ripe Camembert and baguettes. It was hot, very hot, and by the end of the day the cheese could be poured out of the container. This, however, is not French Camembert and the fridge has been off all day. This cheese is more than ripe, it is rank. I try a piece and struggle. I call Zak. He is no cheese connoisseur but does like smelly things that can turn a human’s stomach. He is a bit hesitant to take the proffered cheese and biscuit. Does he know something about this cheese that I don’t? What has his nose detected? Maybe he is just a bit suspicious. He eats the cheese in the privacy of the lounge and comes back for more. He gets a bit but only one piece as he often sleeps with his rear end rather close to my head. The cheese goes back in the cooling fridge for future disposal. I can’t risk more either. I have a dentist’s appointment first thing tomorrow and it wouldn’t do to fart in the company of two rather attractive ladies!





Not of the right stuff

21 12 2013

I know that when the government press are critical of their own that the person in question is either a fall guy or just doesn’t have the right connections. The person in question is the CEO of the state-run Zimbabwe Broadcasting Corporation (ZBC) and has been drawing a salary of around $40,000 per month including allowances. While I’m sure that salaries of this magnitude exist in the real world outside Zimbabwe I very much doubt they are in government run corporations that are rapidly going broke (see this link). While this is a link to an independent paper I first saw the story in the government owned Herald.

The person in question has  been suspended from his job while investigations are ongoing. In the meantime I still see police roadblocks where the prime aim is to get motorists with car radios to pay their compulsory licences. The ZBC has inspectors who are at the roadside. To say this grates is an understatement. I have removed both my aerial and cover of my car radio. The former stops me being pulled over in the first place (there is a gaping hole by the windscreen where the aerial was) and the second allows me to bluster that the radio is not functional. If the licence inspector gets pushy I retort – “If you can get the radio working then I will buy one of your licences”.

In the meantime I am just waiting for the day when they realize that anyone with a cellphone also has a radio and is therefor liable for a licence!





The Alshabab Razor

28 11 2013

I had to do a double take when I saw the packet of safety razors on the shelf of the pharmacy in Greendale, Harare. An Alshabab razor? Well that’s what it says on the packet. Of course on turning the packets over I discovered that it was probably nothing to do with the Islamic extremist organisation of the same name; of course it was “Made in China”. I mean really, couldn’t they even spell razor (razpr) properly? I asked the pharmacist what he knew about it but he hadn’t even noticed them! I wonder what the Arabic writing on the front says?

The Alshabab razor

The Alshabab razor

Somewhat quaint spelling

Somewhat quaint spelling coupled with odd marketing





Anatomy of a birthday

18 11 2013

Wake up early and go through to the bathroom. The sun is half way up on the horizon. It’s 05h16 which is far too early to be awake on my birthday and a Sunday to boot. The dogs know better than to make a fuss on a Sunday so let me sleep on to nearly 07h00.

Finally get up and go through to the kitchen where there’s a dead rat in the trap I set last night. That’s the last time that one will shit on my kitchen counter. There will be others of course, but for now I control the premises. I show it to Zak hoping to trigger some sort of ratting instinct but his attention is on the packet of defrozen bones in the sink.

The dogs get their biscuits and breakfast, I get my coffee. The rat gets flushed down the toilet.

I pull the DVT stocking off my left leg and get into the bath. The wound dressing on the ulcer on my left foot smells bad but I am supposed to leave it on as long as possible. The specialist wound nurse finds my obsession with the bad smell amusing as only health professionals can.

Bath done, dressed and ready to face the day. No need to make the bed as I slept on top – it’s too hot to get into a bed and there are no mosquitoes. They will come when the rain does but for now it’s too dry for them.

Breakfast. I briefly contemplate cooking something but lassitude wins and it’s cereal and milk whilst being dogged. The bones for the dogs have defrosted overnight in the kitchen sink and they are making certain I don’t forget. They get their bones and the pantomime starts. Zak watches Kharma to ensure she is nowhere close before settling down to chew. Once finished he baits her by running past her with his bone in his mouth. She chases. Eventually she’ll get the bone off him.

Time to get off my problem foot. I settle down with Beethoven’s 5th and 6th Symphonies to read Steven Weinberg’s  Dreams of a Final Theory. It’s well written without and equation in sight (what it is to be  brilliant and a good author) but the heat and Beethoven win and I doze off.

Midday. Time to go into work and see that the tobacco seedlings for the Marondera farmer are properly loaded. He’s there  but the transport is not. It’s stuck at a police roadblock on the west of town and they won’t let him go without paying the fine there and then. We get bored waiting and go our separate ways. No doubt the police will get their money.

Lunch and it’s far too hot to do any serious preparation. So it’s genuine French Paysan Breton brie (I didn’t even look at the price when I picked it up – some things one just has to have), olives from who knows where, local Coke Zero and tomatoes. I manage a few more pages of Dreams of a Final Theory before the heat again wins. It’s supposed to rain today but there are just a few half-hearted clouds around. The rains are not late, yet. We really need a good season to make up for the dismal rains of the last 3 years. Business is oddly slow at the nursery for this time of year, probably due to a general lack of cash in the country. Some $900m fled the country at the time of the election and it is in no rush to come back. Not that surprising.

Muddle through the afternoon getting progressively more bored – there’s only so many times on can check for birthday messages on Facebook. At last it’s cool enough to take the dogs for a short cycle. We all feel better for it afterwards though my foot doesn’t agree with this statement. It smells distinctly bad (due to a Pseudomonas infection as I find out later) so as the day comes to an end it gets my full attention and the dressing is changed using imported specialized dressings at an eye watering $12 for 15cm x 15cm.

It’s been another non-event. Birthdays when I was a child were full of excitement and fun though my parents tired of them long before I did and I recall that the last one they organized was for my 6th birthday. Thereafter they were distinctly low key. I would thank them for that but they both died prematurely; my father murdered before his 53rd birthday by and assailant unknown to this day and my mother from cancer in 1992. It’s sobering to think that I have surpassed my father’s age already.