Zimbabwe Absurdity

I have just had a interesting chat with a supplier’s wife who has a contact within the Reserve Bank and due to the nature of her business has other contacts with the RBZ. As usual the talk got onto economics and politics and the topic of the Z$250:US$1 exchange rate came up as being the single most damaging issue in the economy (40% of all exports must be changed with the RBZ at this rate when the black market rate is around 200000:1 and more). She has brought this issue up with the various RBZ officials whom she knows and they have wasted no time distancing themselves from it. The orders come down from On High and no matter how daft, they have to be adhered to – or else. So, until His Nibs moves on the destruction will continue. That’s not to say that a lot of those With Connections don’t have a vested interest in maintaining the status quo.

Earlier this week I had a letter from the local ZANU-PF (ruling party) branch informing me that there is to be a meeting on Sunday at a local farm and “Everyone in our constituency is required to attend this meeting.  This includes commercial farmers”. My first thought was of course f*&#k you but then I gave it a bit more thought. Maybe this would be a good time to get to “know the enemy”. Then I thought it was not such a good idea as I am a bit provocative and would not be able to resist saying pretty much what was on my mind.  In the end I have been rescued from the dilemma by Debbi who wants me to go and take photos at a gym function which sounds a lot more fun and not quite so boring. I was more than a little irritated by some of the wording “Your provincial leadership would like to address you on a number of issues”. I can guess – we need money, and anyway, “MY leadership”? I don’t think so. Oh, and there was also the issue of providing transport. I showed the letter to all my staff who were less than enthused and suggested that someone at least should go though I cannot force anyone (fear of repercussions should do the rest). I have ignored these summons in the past with little comeback but with the ship leaking badly… Who knows?

Interestingly the paper is photocopied onto the back of a spreadsheet printout detailing fuel usage from bulk tanks. ZANU-PF doing fuel stock controls? Unlikely, but not nearly as ironic as the ZANU-PF logo on the letterhead picturing the tower of the central enclosure at Great Zimbabwe (previously known as Zimbabwe Ruins) under which is the slogan “Unity Peace and Development”. I kid you not.

“The pale blue dot” is a well known book by  the late astronomer Carl Sagan. I have not read it but I did come across this article on the web last night which is a text of part of an address he gave at his own university. I suppose it struck a chord in me (see the second paragraph) because of all the strife we are experiencing now in Zimbabwe. Anyway, here it is.

“We succeeded in taking that picture [from deep space], and, if you look at it, you see a dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever lived, lived out their lives. The aggregate of all our joys and sufferings, thousands of confident religions, ideologies and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilizations, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every hopeful child, every mother and father, every inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every superstar, every supreme leader, every saint and sinner in the history of our species, lived there on a mote of dust, suspended in a sunbeam.

The earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that in glory and in triumph they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot… Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the universe, are challenged by this point of pale light.

Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity — in all this vastness — there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. It is up to us… To my mind, there is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly and compassionately with one another and to preserve and cherish that pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known”.

– Excerpted from a commencement address delivered May 11, 1996

This is the actual picture he is talking about – taken by the Voyager spacecraft when it was about 4 billion miles away as it left the solar system. See the Earth as it really is – in the photo there are three rays of sunshine. In the one furthest to the right (the yellowish one), look VERY closely about the mid point. See that TINY white speck? That’s the home planet where ALL of the above, and all that will ever, take place.

I did a bit of shopping today. It’s been a while since I ventured near a supermarket, about 10 days or so, and supplies are running a bit low so I ventured forth to see what could be found, not expecting much. I was not disappointed. The first supermarket was closed, ostensibly due to lack of availability of diesel to run the generator in the absence of supplied power. I wonder. It might have been more to keep away “affirmative shoppers” and avoid selling below the cost price. We are sorry for the inconvenience. Right.

The second supermarket was open and selling. Great if you like butternut squash, onions and very sad tomatoes. The other shelves were full too. Of all the same thing – soda water mainly. In fact at least 4 entire racks were taken up by soft drinks in large bottles. The freezers had lots of pets’ mince but nothing else. No milk, flour, eggs, bread, meat of any type, sugar or mealie meal (the local staple). Well at least I was not spoilt for choice.  Lots of butter though. I wondered to another shopper if we could somehow reverse the process and get milk from the butter. She appreciated that. So I stocked up on the pets’ mince so that at least Jenni will not go hungry for a while. There were lots of cans of baked beans too. I guess Zimbabweans are going to be losing a bit of weight.

I have always associated bread queues with failed economies but curiously I have never actually stood in one. That changed this morning but the bread had run out before I got anywhere near the front. No riots though – yet.

It’s been a crazy week. Exchange rates on the black market have crashed by about 50%, price controls have been implemented by the “Price Police” and other hoods who have marched into retail and wholesale outlets, demanded that prices be reduced by an arbitary amount and distributed goods to their mates and others waiting outside. Rumours have flooded all aspects of the economy – “Prices have to be reduced by half”, “Prices have to go back to the level of June 18th”. Even restaurants have reduced prices. The price police have dictated prices of fresh produce arriving from the farms. And where have all these “guidelines” and “laws” emanated? None other than The Herald, that daily mouthpiece (but it more closely represents a sewer outlet) of the government. How much of this has been gazetted (written into law)? With the exception of the commodities that are already price controlled (bread, milk, maize meal etc.) – none. And has anyone challenged it? No. Fear rules.

My business has not yet had a visitation but I expect we will get one. Sooooo, we have joined the ranks of the spineless and reduced our prices somewhat, just to show we are “patriotic”. How long is this all going to last? Estimates vary from a couple of weeks to the end of the year but I really doubt the latter figure. Already supermarket shelves are empty of produce that is not going to be replenished at less than the cost price.  Already the government is getting belligerent and threatening companies that don’t toe the line and sell whatever they have at the dictated price level with takeover (takeover what exactly?). Bread is scarce, cooking oil non-existent, fuel can only be purchased with hard currency (so it is rumoured), butcheries are closed and empty and those that can afford to have stopped trading. Those who can afford to have been stocking up on the cut-price essentials, fearing the shortages that must surely happen. I have stocked up on dog food for Jenni (I wonder if I can eat it?) and other essentials when I see them. It cannot last of course, they have only tied a tourniquet around the leg – the cause of the bleeding has not been addressed and if the tourniquet is not loosened soon the leg will fall off.

In the wake of the precipitous collapse of the dollar over the past two weeks the government has slapped a price freeze on basic commodities. This has not been gazetted so I don’t know how “official” it all is but we are apparently supposed to revert to prices as they were on the 18^th of June. The government has even formed a squad of “price police” whose duty it will be to enforce the oft ignored price controls. Already the effects can be noticed in the empty shelves in the supermarkets (not replacing stock and not restocking) and other outlets. My usual stop at the bakers this afternoon was not worthwhile; I could see without getting out of the pickup that there was nothing in the shop. Now government has said that they will ease the problem with food and fuel subsidies, and indeed one of the weekend papers reported that the money crash was due in no small way to government agents buying up black market cash with freshly printed Zim dollars! This is apparently going towards buying the fuel to be sold at $15000 a litre instead of the going rate of $150000 a litre. Both of the major weekly papers, The Independent and the Financial Gazette predict that these “control” measures will merely drive the black market further underground and fuel even more spectacular inflation.The most impressive part of the pink paper as the Financial Gazette is known was the 38 page full colour supplement ostensibly put out by the Reserve Bank. Rather grandly entitled “The launch of phase 1 of agricultural equipment acquired under the RBZ farm mechanization programme – celebrating the birth of a mechanization vision and the consolidation of our land reform programme” it is a monument to the breathtaking stupidity of those in charge. While there is a certain amount of repetition of photographs, the range and quantity of equipment displayed is impressive. I must stress that it is not cheap and nasty stuff; it is all top of the line Massey-Fergusson, John Deere and Landini 4×4 tractors and Claas combine harvesters, Gaspardo planters and other assorted equipment. All this whilst Zimbabwe is reeling under 80%+ unemployment, estimated 10000% inflation, highly disruptive power cuts due to lack of money to maintain equipment and a government debt of over 2 trillion dollars (admittedly Zim dollars but that is still a lot of money). That aside, I am really mystified how splurging on highly technical equipment is going to solve our economic crisis. I do wonder just who managed to get their fingers into this particular pie because as sure as the Pope’s a Catholic, it is only going to fail without the technical expertise to get and keep it all running not to mention the finance (I guess the printing presses are running red-hot right now). It is interesting to note that in the same papers the collapse (or rather the non-start) of the much vaunted winter wheat programme is detailed. Of the 80000ha of winter wheat envisaged by the government, just 8000ha have been planted. So where has all the money for the rest of it gone? And why, pray, do we need all those combine harvesters for only 8000ha of wheat?

The Zimbabwe Government has the unenviable reputation of having the world’s largest cabinet. In the centre of the pullout there is a lovely example of just how they have achieved this. Pictured at the top of page 7 is “The Honourable Minister of Agricultural Engineering and Mechanization” – I am not joking, we have such a ministry. In charge of it is one Dr (of what one cannot imagine) Joseph Made, who with a little help trashed the entire Zimbabwean agriculture industry when he was the Minister of Agriculture. That he is not in jail is testament to the corruption that pervades the government of this country.

I have only paged quickly through the rest of the document – I have a limit to my patience. I do find it interesting that they have inserted it into a business orientated newspaper that is only likely to be bought by those with a bit of cash to spare and therefore a reasonable education and so are unlikely to be taken in by the blatant propaganda. Or so I would have thought.

For unknown reasons the black market money rates have actually dropped back from the hysterical levels of last week. This had obviously not filtered through to the farmer from whom I purchased 400 bags of used peat moss. Last Thursday I phoned up his clerk, found out the price to be $200 000 a bag and ordered 200 bags. I then changed my mind and thought I might as well get a lot while I could and added money for an additional 200 bags and did the electronic transfer. Yesterday the clerk phoned me back and said that yes, I could collect the first 200 bags but the price of the additional 200 had gone up.  What? No, I should speak to the manager (he sounded distinctly uncomfortable). I phoned the manager to be informed that prices had gone up so the second lot was now 75% more expensive. I must admit I was confused as I had paid all in one lot. No, but prices were going up so that was the deal. Bizarre – I give customers a discount for bulk orders, I don’t charge them more. Unfortunately I was between a rock and a hard place as the usual suppliers of pine bark were unable to meet orders (maybe something to do with the owner going drinking at lunchtime, but don’t quote me) and I think this guy knew it. Fighting a desperate urge to tell this character what I thought of him I instead said that I’d get back to him today – which would allow me time to cool down and give it some rational thought. So today after mumbling a pathetic “I cannot afford it” excuse, I cancelled the additional 200 bags and decided to put the money into the transport or another asset.

Apparently the price police are out in town, preventing outlets from raising prices and in some cases forcing retailers to reduce prices. I always know when something is afoot as my regular baker stops baking the standard loaves of bread (which are theoretically price controlled) and switches to the uncontrolled round ones!

There is a limit on the amount of cash one can legally withdraw from the bank, Z$1.5m from a personal account or Z$3m from a corporate account. So far as I know there is no limit on the number of accounts one may hold. But there are easier ways to get around the restriction. One is to withdraw the cash from the human teller and then go to the ATM and withdraw it there too. You don’t even need to run to the ATM either. Hannah’s bank manager offered to withdraw 1.5m from his son’s bank account which she then repaid with a transfer – the son did not need the cash that day and the transfer was within the bank so it was quick.

I have just had an email from Gary Hensman, a friend who farms in Chinhoyi. He has had notice that he has to be off the farm by the end of November and the legal thief even came along to peruse his new “acquisition”. Gary has every intention of putting up a fight but he is unlikely to win as by law one cannot appeal the decision. The farm has been in the family for two generations and is productive so is attractive. How long it will remain in that state remains to be seen. The government official who came along to authorize the theft told Gary that whites were not wanted on the land. This is despite the national wheat crop falling to 8000 ha this year from a high of 40000 ha. The lunacy continues without the help of the full moon.

The two major political parties in Zimbabwe are in talks in Johannesburg. They have not progressed past the talks about talks stage and as someone commented to me on the weekend “What political party is going to negotiate the conditions for its departure from power”. So even if it gets beyond the current stage it is unlikely to achieve much. The conditions that ZANU-PF (the ruling party) are imposing on the MDC to get to the talking stage are quite informative. It must:

1. Accept the legitimacy and significance of the liberation struggle (means: accept that we live in the past unlike the majority of the population who were born after the war ended in 1980)

2. Declare its acceptance of the president and government’s legitimacy and act accordingly in both language and actions (means: Bob is God and we did not fiddle the last two election results)

3. Drastically re-orientate its attitudes towards national events (means: kiss our arse)

4. Stop forthwith its promotion of violence (means: this is OUR speciality and we won’t have you competing)

5. Publicly and unequivocally commit itself to the irreversibility of land reform (means: we are not giving back what we have  stolen so get used to it)

6. Respect the country’s sovereignty and independence, respect all national laws (means:  we still make the laws around here and no matter how draconian, illogical and unconstitutional, you will kow-tow to us)

7. Publicly and unequivocally call of the lifting of sanctions (means: we really do want to go shopping in London and Paris and send our kids to elite foreign schools with money we have liberated from government coffers)

8. Stop calling for outside interference in Zimbabwe’s domestic affairs (means: killing, maiming, torturing and otherwise brutalizing our population is OUR business and is therefore allowed)

It’s all rather pathetic and very immature and of course so unreasonable that the MDC is not going to agree to most of it so the talks will go nowhere. Fait accompli.

Yesterday a well dressed and pleasant gentleman delivered a letter to my nursery announcing the formation of yet another union, the Zimbabwe National Farmers’ Union. I was invited to come along to the launch next month.  I could not really ascertain why we need yet another farmers’ union (I don’t belong to any at this stage, the Commercial Farmers’ Union is expensive and I get nothing out of it) so I suppose I will go along  but I remain leery of any attempt to gain credibility for the current state of agriculture in the country which I suspect this is (oh yes, government ministers will be there).