The Silly Season

15 12 2006

In a country that has never seen snow and is unlikely to, it seems a little incongruous to have black men hawking faux fur lined Santa hats and children’s inflatable swimming pool Santas; overweight little round white men with rosy cheeks. But it’s the silly season so anything goes. “Season’s Greetings”, “Compliments of the Season” (what exactly does that mean?) and cards of daft looking puppies with equally daft anthropomorphic smiles wearing, you guessed it, a Santa hat. Excessive drinking and excessive eating in a country where some 80% are unemployed, the average male can expect to live to 35 or less by the time you read this and there still has not been significant rain – it is too late anyway, maize planted now will only produce a paltry harvest. Never mind. Those of us who can will and so what if the minimum wage for agricultural workers is US20c a day (or US$2.20 if you use the “official” rate)? Let them eat cake, or grass or roots or whatever pathetic bird has the misfortune to stray within range of a “rekken”. Surely they can take comfort in the knowledge that we are celebrating the birth of a man some 2000 years ago who was born around September in our calendar and almost certainly was not given gifts by long bearded white men following some star in the east (where did they come from anyway that they could travel for so long without having to swim across the Mediterranean?). OK, so maybe it was north east before that. Then one must remember that this was a virgin birth (right, so who was not paying attention in human reproduction in biology class – EVERYONE in my class was paying attention) so what is a little aberration in map reading anyway? If you pause for just a little thought you would realize that Jesus was carrying God’s DNA – imagine that, sequencing God’s DNA from a sample of the True Cross!

What the hell, it’s only a day that we have to put up with the nonsense and then we can all go back to being bitchy as hell to our nearest and not so dearest and we won’t have to feel bad about it for another year. So eat excessively, drink too much and have a hangover the next day. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Try not to drink and drive (outside of Zimbabwe that is) – the genuinely brain dead are not a pretty sight.


Snow clouds building near Harare! 



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