Not a good day – nine stitches!

21 02 2010

“This is not a suture kit, this is really unacceptable!”
The doctor was not impressed though he did admit that “Suture kit” was written on the cover.
“Do you know what this is?” he asked me rhetorically as he replaced the kidney bowl on the shelf. “It’s a vaginal exam kit”. That had me in stitches (excuse the pun) for the next couple of minutes.

I’d got to the nursery that morning to find that despite or because of the two security guards, we’d had 30 trays of seedlings stolen the previous night. On hearing that his 20 dollar bonus was not going to be forthcoming one of the security guards resigned there and then. There was no power either so I went off in search of some rat poison and paint brushes.

I had to settle for extortionately priced paintbrushes. The rat poison was in paper sachets under a brand name I did not recognize. I looked closer. There was a purple triangle (very toxic contents) and the active ingredient was “aicarb”. Now I’ve heard of aldicarb (trade name Temik® and the poison of choice for killing dogs in Harare – a piece of meat, a few granules of Temik® and the dog is dead in 20 minutes) which also a purple label. I quizzed the salesman but he was clueless. Aldicarb is also a purple label chemical and is supplied in granule form as a result of being covered in lime which makes it a bit safer to handle. This was in powder form and in a paper sachet. I gingerly put it down – it might have been something else entirely but I wasn’t about to find out.

I went to the swimming pool to work off my bad mood but it did not help; I just could not get going properly. I did get a bit tired though which I’ll blame for my lack of concentration at the gym. I forgot to pick up my left foot properly (yes I still have to think about walking) and went down hard. Damn, that hurt but at least there’s no blood. Oh wrong, it soon started to run from the left side of my face.  Margie, the resident physiotherapist, gave me a lift to the Michael Gelfand clinic in town where there is a 24 hour emergency facility. The young receptionist paused as she saw the state of my face (it WAS impressive!) so I made a facetious comment about Margie hitting me with a baseball bat. The orderly who cleaned up my face was young too. As was the nurse who gave me a tetanus injection and the other nurse who took my blood pressure and temperature. The doctor must have been in his late 20s too and had come back from a frustrating work experience year in London (didn’t like the food, the weather or the people) to a fortuitous business opening. He also has a private practice and gave me his business card as I left. I asked him if I’d have to cancel my supermodel shoot that afternoon. He said probably! I liked him and was impressed with the setup of the clinic. Perhaps this really is the start of a turnaround. The future of this country will depend on the likes of the staff at the clinic, young and ready to work hard. My generation is probably a bit long in the tooth to do much.

I repeated the baseball bat joke to the three people in the waiting room as Margie and I walked out. I added a nail to the end of the bat just for effect. It was not funny.





Musing on a view

12 02 2010

I was up early this morning, drinking coffee and enjoying the view from my verandah as the sun rose. On a clear day I have the best view in Harare – 70km to the Great Dyke in the north west where we fly paragliders on the weekend. This morning was such a morning and there was valley mist over the Mazoe Dam. The morning is the best time of day in Africa; it’s cool and fresh and the birds are about. My neighbour, Charles, has a view of vegetables and mielies (maize). He is one of the black managers on the farm where I rent my house and cannot understand why I don’t want to see mielies for a view. He is not an oddity – it is common to go past a very smart house in the suburbs and see a garden with a large patch of mielies growing. Goodness knows, the owner certainly can afford to buy the mielie meal if he wants to at a fraction of the price it costs to grow the crop – that’s why there are commercial farms that grow it (not too many left in Zimbabwe though).

The previous tenant next door was a white guy who also enjoyed the view so when Charles moved in he moved in a tractor and had his garden converted to production. I was wondering why the whites tend to enjoy the view and the blacks prefer to gaze at crops?

As European descendents us whites tend to feel secure with a view. In days gone by we could watch for the invading hordes which in the country now called England would have included Celts of various descriptions, Saxons, Angles, Jutes, Scots, Norse, Italians (Romans), French, Dutch, the odd armarda and the German airforce. And that’s just England. Invasion has been part of European history for a very long time. In Zimbabwe this has not been the case. Mzilikazi used to send impis (raiding parties) to raid the Shona for cattle and women but they were small parties and a view would not have been a lot of use, and besides, there is little water to be found on hilltops in Zimbabwe. Far more important would have been food security. Before Zimbabwe became a country (Southern Rhodesia) it was colonised by the whites but this was an “invasion” of the subtle kind and a once off affair. The grand irony here is that the Europeans introduced maize to this country and it is poorly adapted to the endemic droughts.





The Indigenisation Bill

11 02 2010

The Indigenisation Bill is due to come into force next month. All businesses worth more than US$500,000 will be required to cede 51% of their shares to indigenous shareholders. This bill was tabled and signed into law in 2008 by the ZANU-PF government and Morgan Tsvangirai has distanced himself from it saying that the MDC was never consulted (true as they were not in government then) and he is responsible for the formulation
of all Government policy by Cabinet and their implementation. The list of “suitable” indigenous shareholders will be decided by the government. This is obviously wide open to abuse and nepotism and locally is seen as just an extension of the land grab that devastated the country’s agriculture and levelled the economy. If it comes to pass it will certainly dissuade potential investors and lots of those here will certainly pull out. The tobacco companies are distinctly nervous and my grape vine tells me that Coca-Cola will disinvest.

My company is certainly safe; I estimate it is worth about 15,000 dollars! Of course we would feel the impact and an already quiet market would become unsustainable for us. I am fascinated by the definition of “indigenous”. If I recall correctly it is “Those who born before 1980 (independence) and were disadvantaged by fact of their race”. That excludes me even though I was born here. But what about those born since then which must be the majority of the population? Are they considered equals?





The upside of down

9 02 2010

Droughts are not all bad news for farming in Zimbabwe. Tobacco, for example, yields very well when stressed a bit. In fact tobacco farmers have a lot of problems when the rains are good; the crop grows too quickly and the leaf is difficult to cure. So this season some very qood quality and excellent yields are expected from those few farmers left who have the skills. Of course where there is feast the scavengers gather too. On Christmas Day a white farmer in the Rusape area (east of Harare) was kicked off his farm just as he was about to start reaping his first planting of tobacco. He won’t be the last. I suspect some will probably do ALL the work and then lose the cured crop. Especially as prices were excellent last season and expected to be even higher this year!





Priorities

9 02 2010

“So what are your qualifications” I asked the young teller taking the cash for my electricity account that I have not received in over a year but must still pay anyway. “Three A levels” she replied.
“And how much are you paid?”
“One hundred dollars” and though she didn’t mention it I knew it was monthly.
I told her that my senior foreman went home with over $200 with overtime. Domestic servants are paid around $90 often with accomodation thrown in and my labourers earn $60 or more with overtime. Some have only a few years of education and cannot read or write. It is perhaps not surprising that the civil service is threatening a strike.

Meanwhile Harare’s mayor has budgeted for a new mayoral Benz for his use and a twin cab pickup for his wife (who is not an elected official). The drought is now starting to bite and no doubt the begging bowl will come out while the diamond fields in Marange continue to be plundered and new ways of taxing us are conjoured up.





RHIP

4 02 2010

In my army days RHIP stood for Rank Has Its Privileges and meant that officers didn’t do guard duties and if there was dirty work to do the lowest of the low (troopers – us) got to do it.

It seems that RHIP still exists in Zimbabwe today and can be seen in many guises and in the smart cars that ministers and others of rank get to drive. If you are really somebody of note you might even get a permanent armed guard on your home gate. It is almost entirely showing off; I have never heard on an attempt on anyone important at their house.

This afternoon I drove past a smart house in Mount Pleasant with an armed guard outside the gate. He was diligently writing something down in a notebook whilst sitting in the grass on his rifle.





Half full – half empty

4 02 2010

Jeremy is an ex-commercial farmer who works for a German NGO. Rather late last year he asked me if we could grow gum trees, some for him and a much larger amount for the NGO to give out to be grown near dip tanks in the rural areas to take the pressure off the indigenous trees being cut for fuel. It was late to plant trees but I did not mind; it was a nice order and we needed the work. Jeremy was very pleased with the seedlings when he came to start organizing their collection and distribution. I got chatting to him about the rest of his work. They (the NGO) give out treadle pumps and they can be used to irrigate up to a hectare of crops. Jeremy was enthusiastic on how well it was all going and was keen for us to start supplying vegetable seedlings for the NGO to distribute as giving out seed was a bit hit and miss as to whether the crops got growing. He was talking big figures and I started to be quite hopeful. The glass was definitely half full.

I have met Bill before and like Jeremy he too is an ex-commercial farmer and also works for the same NGO. He came to organize the collection of gum trees to go to the Makoni area which is in the central east of the country. I asked him how it was all going. Dismally apparently. He said that no-one was really interested in watering the trees through the dry season (and we are already having a dry wet season) so most would likely die as had the numerous trees that had gone before them. What was more the kopjes (stony hills) in the area were being devastated by the tobacco farmers cutting trees to use as fuel to cure their tobacco. He couldn’t wait for September when his contract finished. For him the glass was half empty and the level falling fast! I decided not to put too much hope in Jeremy’s entusiasm.





Half full half empty

4 02 2010

Jeremy is an ex-commercial farmer who works for a German NGO. Rather late last year he asked me if we could grow gum trees, some for him and a much larger amount for the NGO to give out to be grown near dip tanks in the rural areas to take the pressure off the indigenous trees being cut for fuel. It was late to plant trees but I did not mind; it was a nice order and we needed the work. Jeremy was very pleased with the seedlings when he came to start organizing their collection and distribution. I got chatting to him about the rest of his work. They (the NGO) give out treadle pumps and they can be used to irrigate up to a hectare of crops. Jeremy was enthusiastic on how well it was all going and was keen for us to start supplying vegetable seedlings for the NGO to distribute as giving out seed was a bit hit and miss as to whether the crops got growing. He was talking big figures and I started to be quite hopeful. The glass was definitely half full.

I have met Bill before and like Jeremy he too is an ex-commercial farmer and also works for the same NGO. He came to organize the collection of gum trees to go to the Makoni area which is in the central east of the country. I asked him how it was all going. Dismally apparently. He said that no-one was really interested in watering the trees through the dry season (and we are already having a dry wet season) so most would likely die as had the numerous trees that had gone before them. What was more the kopjes (stony hills) in the area were being devastated by the tobacco farmers cutting trees to use as fuel to cure their tobacco. He couldn’t wait for September when his contract finished. For him the glass was half empty and the level falling fast! I decided not to put too much hope in Jeremy’s entusiasm.





Smoke and mirrors at the bank

26 01 2010

I was chatting to a banker on Saturday at work. He’d come to buy a few seedlings for his veggie garden and we struck up a conversation. He is with the agri-banking sector of ZB Bank, formally known as Zimbank. The government has a share in it and it is one of the banks that has been affected by the US and European sanctions so they have been treading a conservative line. He asked how my business was going and I replied that it was very slow; in my opinion there was just not money available for loan at realistic interest. He agreed that rates of 25% or more were stifling lending but that around April ZB was getting a cash injection from an investor. I speculated that it was part of Robert’s “Look East” (to Malaysia) policy. No, the banker replied, this is look south. I assumed he meant South Africa. He just laughed.

I mentioned that I banked with CBZ (Commercial Bank of Zimbabwe). He raised his eyebrows and cautioned me to be careful. Now I’ve had nothing but good service from my branch of CBZ ever since I pulled my corporate account away from Barclays for utterly dismal service some years ago. When pressed he told me that CBZ are in good financial shape because the government is using them as the national bank so if normality ever returns and the Reserve Bank resumes banking to the government as it should, CBZ will not have the reserves that it enjoys today and could collapse. I asked if I could pick that up in the CBZ annual report. He laughed – it seems there are many ways to hide accounts from auditors.

CBZ started out as BCCI (Bank of Credit and Commerce International) which was known locally as Bank of Crooks and Conmen International. It was Pakistani founded with major middle east shareholders and went belly up in spectacular way some years back (check out the Wikipedia reference for some entertaining reading). The government here bought out the local concern and it was mostly owned/run by Gideon Gono who has been in charge of the Reserve Bank for some years though he apparently has a reduced role in CBZ these days. Some years back ABSA, a big South African banking group, bought around 23% of CBZ shares and it was seen as a mark of approval. CBZ have since bought back those shares. While most other Zimbabwe banks are battling the stagnated economy CBZ is apparently blooming. One has to ask how they have done it.

Maybe it’s time to open another corporate account with a bank that makes less use of smoke and mirrors.





Aquarians

20 01 2010

They are everywhere these days – the water carriers. I was driving behind a 10 tonner this afternoon, water sloshing out of the 3000 litre tanks on the back. A lot of them like this one are not even proper tankers; they just have plastic tanks tied down on the back of the truck. Some of them pay the price too and on more than one occasion I have seen broken tanks and even an overturned trailer.

Water selling has been lucrative for some time now since the water treatment plant at Lake Chivero, Harare’s water supply, fell into disrepair. I know people who have not had municipal water supplied for in excess of two years now. It follows that borehole drilling and pump supplies have also been good business (as has borehole pump theft). For those who can afford a hole drilled and get good water (not a given) this has not been too much of a problem, until now. The promised el Nino drought is starting to make its presence felt and I know of several friends whose boreholes are starting to run dry. Which is good news for the water sellers.

I don’t know what the hygiene requirements are for supplying water; whether it has to be potable or not. There is one setup just down the road from my business and rather close to a municipal rubbish tip that is hiding in a premises that is ostenisbly selling used tires. A friend tried to buy some tires there a few days ago and just got blank stares. I have seen the tanker filling up inside on several occasions – used tyres? No, water!